amor al calor

amor al calor

lunes, 30 de mayo de 2011

Diary Entry: July 10, 2007

Diary: 

Just so you know, Im watching the movie "Bridget Jones Diary"which has inspired me to continue writing in diaries. It's a wonderful story of love and second chances. It makes me wonder... I hope my love with Jared's lasts forever. I wonder if I will be married by my 30's or like Bridget, be lured by the lives of parties. 

Sometimes it think about the way Jared's  is with me. I wish I could remember our nasty arguments ... now that's some legit bathroom material. But it's as of I dont intend on writing it all here. He says I have changed into a more cheerful person in comparisson to the nasty, bad tempered, rebel girl he met five month's ago. While for some this might sound as good news, for Jared's  I have a slight inclination that he is not entirely happy. 

Sometimes I dont understand this idiot. One simply matures and last year I was not Ok and my emotions where darker and lonely. He just happened to have met in that time. The really crazy part is that in the middle of this confusion he still has the balls to tell me "Just be yourself". Tell me this, how can I be myself and still feel that for him something is missing?  I dont want to be that girl anymore. Life is about moving foward... learning... blooming into a masterpiece. Why cant he understand that? 


Mom get's it. She often has compared me to a book with colorful pages. I cant always be predictable, and I have figured out that it might be alarming to Jared. He probably thought he had me all figured out and found out that he was wrong.  


What I noticed is that this relationship has been based on me making changes....but what about him? Up to what point do we stop being ourselves to have some "love"? 






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