Diary,
I figured it was about time i ended my story in this book and finally move on to another chapter in my life. Suddenly I have been awakend by questions. What does each rising day mean to you? What are your hopes? Do you even know what you hope for? Well, I do. I've been asking all along for a miracle in someone else, when the miracle had to become true in me first.
The thing about pain, is that we are afraid of it..but once the sea is calmed...we realised we have changed. Sometimes for good....always for the best. It was necesary for me to witness some attitudes in me; I stoped praying or singing to God after I heard that he liked someone else. But now it's different, I have learned to be happy with myself and with the fact that I can trust God, even when it hurts.
Over these past nine months I have learned to face reality with a vulnerable but strong face. I have faced reality this time...and I have realized that nothing is forever or certain, let alone the way we die. And what has cost me a great deal to understand is that its ok if it nothing lasts. It was there for the time being and now this part of my life has its time, place and purpose.
So, I guess its right to say that Jared had a purpose in my life. Lord have mercy, I am feeling my sarcassam coming up through my vocal chords. As of now, he apparently is infatuated with a girl I went to bible camp with a few years ago. He is sickly in love with this person who has rejected him one to many times. It hurts now, dont it Jared?
The thing that has me quite puzzled is the rumor spread around like a open book that says that he has been saying that this girl, is the God send woman for him. Allow me while I take a sip of Grandpas cough medicine in. Gulp...Gulp...Gulp
Hi, I'm back. Well, for those who dont know our tragic history...these were the same words mentioned to me a year ago by a repeted love sick Jared. You know, just because I have a full powered wit and sarcassam from time to time, dont mean I am not fragile or vulnerable. Truth is, I am. Yet, I know that being free of this roller coaster to emotional hell, is actually the salvation I need. It's the molding of clay...that even when set to fire..it transforms to a masterpiece. Nothing lasts forever...and I am fine. Bring on the pain Jared... nothing will stop be from healing.
Sincerely,
ArwenLyn
I figured it was about time i ended my story in this book and finally move on to another chapter in my life. Suddenly I have been awakend by questions. What does each rising day mean to you? What are your hopes? Do you even know what you hope for? Well, I do. I've been asking all along for a miracle in someone else, when the miracle had to become true in me first.
The thing about pain, is that we are afraid of it..but once the sea is calmed...we realised we have changed. Sometimes for good....always for the best. It was necesary for me to witness some attitudes in me; I stoped praying or singing to God after I heard that he liked someone else. But now it's different, I have learned to be happy with myself and with the fact that I can trust God, even when it hurts.
Over these past nine months I have learned to face reality with a vulnerable but strong face. I have faced reality this time...and I have realized that nothing is forever or certain, let alone the way we die. And what has cost me a great deal to understand is that its ok if it nothing lasts. It was there for the time being and now this part of my life has its time, place and purpose.
So, I guess its right to say that Jared had a purpose in my life. Lord have mercy, I am feeling my sarcassam coming up through my vocal chords. As of now, he apparently is infatuated with a girl I went to bible camp with a few years ago. He is sickly in love with this person who has rejected him one to many times. It hurts now, dont it Jared?
The thing that has me quite puzzled is the rumor spread around like a open book that says that he has been saying that this girl, is the God send woman for him. Allow me while I take a sip of Grandpas cough medicine in. Gulp...Gulp...Gulp
Hi, I'm back. Well, for those who dont know our tragic history...these were the same words mentioned to me a year ago by a repeted love sick Jared. You know, just because I have a full powered wit and sarcassam from time to time, dont mean I am not fragile or vulnerable. Truth is, I am. Yet, I know that being free of this roller coaster to emotional hell, is actually the salvation I need. It's the molding of clay...that even when set to fire..it transforms to a masterpiece. Nothing lasts forever...and I am fine. Bring on the pain Jared... nothing will stop be from healing.
Sincerely,
ArwenLyn
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