Amelia's Lawyer and Keane

Many years ago, before Amelia knew that a Xander existed for her, she was a college student. Her passion was writing and mostly everyday she would detail in her journals events and moments past. Her hair was pink and her clothes were eighties meets bohemian. Her nails were painted in neon colors and some of them were starting to chip off.  She drank coffee and never smoked at the same time. She was happily blissful in her own colorful world.

Her major was journalism and her minor literature. It truly was a dream for her to invest time studying and preparing herself professionally in the written word. She took classes from investigative journalism to the rather progressive history of love lectures. The last one is still a big question mark in her mind. Who takes a class on the history of love letters? Well, people like her. People that marched to their own tune and painted with diverse color palettes. 

Amelia's mobile phone at the time was a metallic pink motorola razor and she thought she was cool. She never had an ipod so her music she listened through a cd player with headphones. Pretty progressive, of course. Her favorite band at the time was Keane and she had someone to blame for that. She blamed a certain lawyer with a stick up his ass.

Now now, Amelia  was always what you could describe as a "semi good girl". At least her face projected a certain naive quality, however, her mind? Her real thoughts? Not so cookie cutter. There would come a time in the future when that battle for her mind will drive her to break rules and start again. But this was not the time. Not yet. 

Back to the lawyer. This person was what  you called typically predictable. His friends never changed and his manners where always perfection. His voice was soft spoken and nostalgic, at times sort of creepy. He was eight years older than Amelia and had his entire life planned, or as it seemed...planned for him. His eyes were the color of coffee, the kind they sell at Starbucks that has all sorts of crap and 1% real java. Dark straight hair that fell softly near his long eyelashes and he seriously needed a tan. Amelia, on the other hand hated the idea of living such a constricted life between office cubicles. She wanted to live each day as her last, so she really had no idea what attracted her to him. Him with lawyer words and lawyer manners. 

Yet, some nights together they would walk the streets of Old San Juan, taking in the history of every corner and meditating in silence. They never held hands and they hardly embraced. Theirs was a story of strange companionship. He wanted to be free spirited like her and to actually be brave enough to act spontaneous. She saw in him the stillness her passionate soul needed from time to time, that silence in between musical notes. 

The one thing they shared with great passion was music. They loved listening to "Keane"songs and would spend hours on the phone analyzing the meaning in their lyrics. When they talked about love, it was always with a  quote from Keane. 

One night during those walks in the historical city, Amelia and lawyer sat near the water. This time they were listening from his ipod the song "Love is the end". She turned to him with familiarity as she listened in. Perhaps, this could work. Perhaps, he wont bore me to death. Perhaps, love is really the end, she thought as her eyes gazed at him.

Lawyer also turned to her side and his eyes were brilliantly black. He smiled faintly in a way that you would almost miss it. He reached with his hand and stroked softly her right cheek and trailed down to her hand. The touch in itself felt so foreign to her. And with his fingers caressing her hand, he waited for her to respond. 

Amelia found herself unable to do anything at all. Here was cryptic lawyer with his fond for health foods touching her. She smiled in a matter that said "dude, what are you doing?". Lawyer then took the lyrics from her left hand and read out loud.

"It wont come again because love is the end. Oh no my friend. Best not pretend because love is the end". 

"What do you think about these words, Amelia?"
"Two friends finding love. It's pretty obvious Law". 

Lawyer chuckled low and removed his complete hand from hers. He realized then that she did not understand what he meant. And she understood that she was not ready yet. He stood up first and helped her get up from the ground. It was a november night so the city was decorated in holiday lights. The sea breeze ruffled her pink hair, hair that secretly drove him wild; well as wild as he could possibly muster. They were facing each other and the song was still in their ears. 

The music was ending, the last words were sung. "Don't say those words" echoed through. The last note was played and Lawyer cupped her chin in his hands forcing her to look at him. 

"There's a fire in you Amelia. Don't ever lose it, or You and I will be at war". For the first time there was passion in his eyes and fierceness in the sound of his voice. Her breathing became agitated as she was clearly unaware that fire existed in him. More so, she never knew that passion was exactly what she needed as well. 

His head lowered closer to her face and she was almost certain he would kiss her. He studied her face and his lips rested on her forehead. All the while he sang her name over and over. 

"Amelia, Amelia...love is the end. And someday someone will be lucky to be burned by your fire." 

"Law, you seriously watch too many melodramatic movies. I am not even invested in the nearest future of two weeks from now, what makes you so sure I want to know about a future person?"

Law messed around with her hair and said "You will see". They slightly embraced their way back to the car.
It was the last time Amelia saw him, and the stillness consumed her. But Law was right. It would take her seven years to actually feel that way. 

¿Are you counting? 


 

 

Xander y Amelia: "Ahí viene E.T"

 

En el año 2012 se predecía que el mundo iba a culminar. En la calle se expresaban diversas opiniones, hasta las redes sociales crearon un itinerario que incluía desayuno con los extraterrestres. Sí, ese año fue particular para muchos, pero en especial para mí. Fue el año donde vi sus ojos color ámbar y su cabello rojizo a la luz del medio día. Recuerdo como aquella visión y su risa contagiosa eran conceptos tan ajenos para mí como el desayuno continental de los supuestos E.T's.

Se preguntará (eso presumo) cómo alguien en tiempos "apocalípticos" despoja tiempo para enamorarse. Le soy sincera, no tengo idea. El amor con esta criatura fue tan imprevisto y desesperante como perder tus llaves dentro de tu cartera.

Lo veía por las mañanas en la estación del tren. Su apariencia siempre jovial y misteriosa parecian  guardar un maletín de secretos. Ya sabe usted, ese tipo de secreto que le estremecen la piel. Sus camisas siempre tenían filo, su barba rojiza perfectamente estilizada y sus brazos eran largos y musculosos, claro no que me fijaba tanto. Eso quiero pensar.  Al principio lo miraba sólo por curiosidad pendeja, de esa que busca algo más interesante en otras vidas. Me parecía que yo misma cultivaba el secreto de mi análisis sobre su persona. Realmente era un juego para distraer mi mente sobre mi propia vida.  Me llegó a interesar tanto que al fin lo aborrecí en mi corazón. Me causaba molestia pensar tanto en alguien que ni sabía que existía, en alguien que se rodeaba de personas que comían del cuento.

Si le cuento que en ese año era una chica de concursos de bellezas, le estaría mintiendo. Era una nerda de siete pares que prefería leer que salir con chicos ignorantes. Usted me disculpa si caigo en lo vulgar o coloquial, cuando me apasiono tiendo a perder la tabla. Bueno, mis cabellos oscuros cortos y mi vestimenta de oficina seria ocultaban ciertos atributos y le soy honesta, me encantaba estar escondida. No me sentía preparada para permitir a nadie en mi vida.

¿Qué dice? ¿Es puro cuento lo que digo? Bueno dígame algo usted coño. Usted con esa facha tan seria posiblemente núnca se enamoró así de entregado. Ah, claro puedo continuar con mi historia. Por supuesto que puede tener música de fondo. Me encanta La Oreja de Van Gogh.

Mire, realmente no hay tanto que decir. Me enamoré antes de conocerlo. Qué ridiculez esto del amor a dos o tres vistas. Escuchaba sus historias con los compañeros de trabajo y me encontraba riendo tanto.Cantaba en el kareoke todos los viernes con tal de verlo.  Fue hermoso poder reconocer mi voz nuevamente y en especial ver mis ojazos achicarse con cada carcajada. Pero lo más hermoso fue la tarde del siete de septiembre. Lo ví acercarse con una mirada tímida y segura, ¿Es posible semejante dualidad?

Llegó a mí y pude ver sus ojos claros y reconocer su fragancia  de madera y especias que  me estremeció de primeras. Me sonrió y hablamos de las cosas más tontas y profundas del mundo. Parecía como una canción que  quieres seguir escuchando mientras conduces a tu casa. ¿Recuerda que mencioné como pensaba que era un portador de secretos, bueno, su secreto era yo. Sus miradas que parecían distantes realmente eran su manera de decir "sé que estás ahí".

Así que en el año del fin del mundo, tres meses antes de la llegada de los extraterrestres, encontré el amor. Un amor para pasar el fin del mundo tiene buenos prospectos para el futuro. De manera que le exhorto que revise nuestros talonarios y acepte nuestra solicitud de préstamo hipotecario. Si sobrevivimos el fin del mundo, creo que un préstamo de treinta años es nada.

Bueno, dígame algo, ¿Alguna vez se ha enamorado por más tiempo que su hipoteca? No conteste ahora, solo piénselo, y ya sabe que trabajo en el piso cinco. Perdone las palabras, usted ya sabe. Yo sé que sí.

Xander and Amelia: In the world of women and mortgage loans

   It was a rather uncommon day in mortgage loan affairs when all projected cases closed. The time was exactly three in the afternoon and it served as an opportunity for casual day dreams. She thought of Xander and heard his boisterous voice across the hall. Amelia chuckled and wondered how anyone had such constant energy, considering where they were working.

Amelia took the chance of low "productivity" and walked for a while. She noticed that in every corner there was a woman. The world of mortgage loans is ruled by pure estrogen. Amelia thought about how women are the most loving and giving creatures, and yet the worst when it comes to competition. Amelia was aware that she looked strange staring casually at people in the 18th floor of the building, however, she sincerely did not care.

Women everywhere here.

Sasha was a mortgage loan underwriter. She had the clearest blue eyes and graying hair. Her lovely and delicate features made a smooth canvas for her rather difficult story. As if sensing she was being watched, Sasha smiled at Amelia and asked her to sit next to her. Some days, their conversations would be strictly business like how to know when a client qualifies for a federal mortgage loan without appraisal. But today, they both had a lot in their minds.

Sasha was 60 years old and Amelia 27. They had become close friends. It was Sasha who first mentioned to Amelia that there was more than meets the eye with Xander.

"Amelia, you are too closed up when it comes to love. Give Xander a chance"

"He makes me feel reckless sometimes. Like if I should loose control. It's so out of character for me".

"Given, he is a wild ride...but maybe he is just what you need"

Amelia smiled warmly at Sasha and dropped the subject. In that silence, these two women with decades apart from each other, found comfort. Sasha was still in love with her deceased husband. It had been ten years since his death from a heart attack. Amelia found it amazing how her friend surpassed the pain of loss and chose to remember the man she loved.

"I admire your peace, Sasha. I admire your courage on love and hope. You know what I've been through...maybe Xander just came at the wrong time"

Sasha was working on some figures in her computer but stopped abruptly and gave Amelia a "you're so full of shit"look. Amelia laughed hard and the sound surprised her. Everything about Xander always made her feel things. Feel again. Yet she found it so funny how Sasha could see right through her.

"Amelia, you're a sweet girl, but honey,cant you detect your own bullshit? Ever since you met this guy, I've seen you come alive. I feel as if with Xander, the real Amelia comes out. I'm not sure what you are waiting for".

Amelia shrugged but then looked at Sasha as if remembering a fun fact

"well, he did ask me out last week". Sasha extended her arms in the air in victory, but only to be slightly disappointed.

"And?! You told him yes, right?"

Amelia left the conversation in the air. She loved teasing Sasha like that. But truth is, she had decided a long time ago. As she made her way back to her cubicle, she stopped by Xander's desk. He was busy analyzing data and the frustration had him red in the face. Amelia always found this ridiculously cute in him. She wanted to stay a while looking at him without being noticed, but it was Xander, he always knew when she was near.

Amelia went up to him and in her most decisive tone yet, looked into his eyes and said "Yes". She smiled as if she couldn't believe what just happened, and quietly left.

In the world of mortgage loans, some people didn't make the cut, others got a great deal in the new federal mortgage loan, and two people spent the next two hours day dreaming of their up coming date.

Xander and Amelia: Fire and Water plus a phone call

Amelia had been up since the early morning. She peeked through her window and stared at the moving trees and the colors of the sunrise. And slowly, the sun came by taking away the sounds of night. Her mind kept playing to last night, oh what a night. She had been singing, she remembered the neon lights, laughter of slightly tipsy co workers and expectant smiles. She remembered him. She could never forget him. 

Her collection of books had become a hazard in her room. She piled stacks of diverse literature and each one had a memory of its own. From victorian classics and George Orwells's "Animal Farm"  to the rather modern erotic novels, yes Amelia's taste was broad. No matter how shattered her hopes have been, she always had her books, her mind, her paintings. Most receantly she was feeling the angst of a relationship gone dry. Eric, sweet innocent Eric had broken her heart more than anyone before. He was her best friend for years. She dreamed of a future and he played along until it was too much to ask from him. His absence only made her yearn for something life changing. She didnt know it then, but life was preparing her for fire.

In the middle of her organizing her young adult fiction novels  she recieved a phone call from an unknown number. Normally she would never bother with answering these types of calls, but something made her think she had absolutely nothing to loose. Eric was gone, Mia was dead. "What the hell?"She mumbled through her breath as she answered.

The instant she heard his voice she knew exactly who he was. For some incredibly stupid reason she started to fix her hair and spray some citrus splash on her skin. His voice made her glow with happiness and she felt so silly by it. She had been wearing sweats and a white tank top that said "Nice Junk". she wondered if he would approve of her brand of humor.

Almost instantly in the conversation, Xander and Amelia talked so honestly and open. No false pretenses, no covering up. She knew his secret and He knew hers. He learned that she  liked to paint when  nostalgia took hold of her  and she learned that he lived everyday like his last. At times Amelia would look at herself in the mirror just to see that-wait a minute- yes, she was smiling. She was happy Xander had called her. But then the dreaded question came up.

"I see Aidan walked you to your car a few times, is He your boyfriend?" Please say no. Please say no.
"Um, no he is not. I have a boyfriend- ah, hmm well had". What the hell was that? What is wrong with me? .
"Well which one is it? Had or have?" Please say had, please say had! 
"Oh, had. Long story. Not my particular favorite subject" Ok, that wasnt so difficult. It's really over.
 "Oh sure I understand " I have a shot! 

Xander was a man of goals and he had his mind set on Amelia since that day at the parking lot. She was not the type of woman he typically dated. Then again his typical taste had given him enough  baggage claim. His  intrigue for Amelia was beyond anything physical or emotional. He couldnt explain how in one conversation he felt himself falling for her mind, the sound of her voice, her convictions. He felt himself changed by her.

Amelia was a natural skeptical when it came to love. Sure she had felt the butterflies but she had an edge to her. Love had not been too kind either. Or was it really love? A love that changes you. No, she had never experienced that. She had never been drawn to men like Xander either, all sociable and expressive. No, this was something new. Her initial reaction has always been to just walk away. Too much fire and she was too much of water. But his voice, deep and rustic...she needed more of it. His eyes were of her favorite color: Amber. His hair the color of sunset. She wondered if she could paint a portrait of him. He was like a work of art. All in one conversation.

They were complete opposites, yes anyone could have told you that.
They were in for a surprise.

And ironically, Monday's  became their favorite day of the week.


 

Días de Enero 2007: The Letter was not sent

Estas son las palabras  que nunca te dije. Los deseos que dejé pasar mientras abordabas tu avión hacia lugares que yo nunca podré ir. Cuando pienso que te quise, lo hago de una manera tan seca. Quizá no hubo tiempo para la pasión y sólo la conducta observable. Me gustas, Te aprecio, Te...quiero? Te quiero, no te vayas, Te quise...

Es cierto que en cada amanecer
Busco recordar tus miradas
En mis sueños, Te busco siempre a tí.

No voy a negarlo esta vez. Extraño tanto de tí
Tu manera de tomar el café
Nuestros debates sobre ciencia ficción
La dualidad de tu ser...arrogante y dulce.

Extraño la mano que sostuvo la mía hasta el atardecer
La mirada llena de sentido del humor y, 

¿amor?

Los sonidos metropolitanos, la arquitectura, tu vestimenta negra,
El día en que buscamos por toda la ciudad el lugar perfecto para nuestro beso.

Extraño que nunca supe lo que  significa mirar en la misma dirección juntos, un futuro.
Siempre miradas misteriosas. Siempre corazón de piedra. siempre una chispa de esperanza.

Extraño el momento que no sucedió. El decirte lo cobarde que eras, y lo mucho que me enamoré de ti. Todo recuerdo contigo es incompleto, y aunque quiera esconder lo que siento. 

Sé que te quiero. Te quiero con cada gesto, con cada palabra y aun cuando pasen los años de ausencia, te quiero sólo a tí. Creo que nuestro amor, fue destinado a nunca ser. Lo nuestro son ventanas  del tiempo donde nos volvemos a ver y diremos, "Quizá contigo es mi vida".

Y nada, se hará. Somos iguales y arrogantes. Somos dulces y misteriosos. Somos la dualidad más exacta e idéntica.

Pero, quiero que sepas, creo que contigo hubiera sido  feliz.

Extraño a alguien que no es...
Te extraño, sólo a tí...y a mí 

Xander and Amelia: Summer Heat

The day the heat was unbearable. The day makeup melted away with worries from moments past. It was the moment when working for a financial institution, actually became interesting. The day the most extremely different people had their first encounter.

He was boisterous. He was tall, slightly hefty and had reddish brown hair. His skin was pink and his eyes were the color of amber. It seemed that everyone knew his name, or better yet called him by the name "colorao". But, lets just call him... Ginger? No, that is lame. His name was Xander.

She was weird, or so they said. Long brown hair, big eyes, even bigger personality. But she was hiding behind a routine that ate away her fire. Mostly quiet, mostly thoughtful, mostly desiring an escape from it all. She had music in her lungs, her lips, her fingertips. Her name was Amelia.

Every now and then, they would bump into each other during lunch breaks. His eyes always scanning her, in a naturally curious way. She couldn't give a shit. She simply stared into nothing, always hoping but not searching.

It was a hot and humid afternoon. The steam rippled in the air and made their eyes tear. The financial institution they worked for had a shuttle bus that transported its employers to their significant automobiles. As Amelia stepped down and walked towards her blue ford escape, she became agitated. Blame it on the heat? The loveless relationship? Who knows. Only, she looked around feeling a desire to be free. And in a second she was. Her office blouse was out of her chest in no time. She could breathe again. She untied her hair and let it fall naturally. She felt like herself. With a smile on her face, Amelia walked feeling like a victor. No one was there to see her anyways. Or so she thought.

There he was parked right in front of her, sitting inside his sleek Volvo. A pretty confident car for someone equally cocksured. Yes, I just did. He had his eyes wide open and a smile of approval was spread all over his face. Xander  had always seen her so quiet and meek that what he witnessed seemed surreal. He kept thinking that there was more this girl than meets the eye. And he wanted to know.


She, stared back at him, challenging his intentions. Feeling the heat of the moment rise to its tipping point, she decided to break it and give him her most fierce "screw you" looks.  She felt confused as to how his reaction made her feel. Part of her wanted to say nasty things to him and send him to hell where there are surely no Volvo dealers. Another part  wanted for him to keep staring and wonder what would happen next.

Amelia  quickly got into her car and drove away, not before looking at him straight on and mouthing the word "douche". Xander kept laughing and smiling at her. Amelia bought a pink taser to burn his ass if he ever got close to her. Xander couldn't wait to get a chance to talk to her.

Oh Amelia, first impressions...first impressions. How wrong can you be?

Entrada Diario Octubre 22, 2006 El Príncipe se reinventa

Querido Diario, 


   Hace un rato que regresé de mi cita con Edward. Sí, tal como lees. Edward me llamó preguntándome si queria salir con él para otro concierto de la Sinfónica. No me lo vas a creer...pero...♫Qué mucho disfruté♫ Edward se comportó como un caballero. Mientras esperábamos en línea para entrar al espectáculo , Edward lo hacía un tanto obvio que andabamos juntos. Fue "charming" jaja. ¿Lo puedes creer? Núnca dejó mucho espacio entre los dos y su mirada no era desviada en ningún momento. 

Durante el concierto ambos nos intercambiabamos miradas. A veces nuestras manos accidentalmente se rozaban...claro..."accidentalmente". 

La situación entera fue "puppy love". Su manera de mirar no era indiferente, mas bien tierna e intrigada. Al concluir el concierto, Edward se me acerca y me dice suavemente "¿Qué te apetece para comer?".

Mis ojos claramente revelaban que no podía creer lo que estaba sucediendo. Bueno, porque comparando con la otra cita que fue un horror. 


Mientras cenabamos tuvimos una sección estilo "heart 2 heart". Yo le conté sobre un cierto mandril llamado "G" y su pan sobado; él a su vez me contó sobre su experiencia. 


Al final cuando regresamos a mi casa, nos quedamos hablando más. Los cristales se comenzaron a empañar... y mi hermano salió de mi casa hacia el carro porque pensó que Edward y yo nos besabamos. 


Así fue la cita. Planificamos ir a un "candlelight concert dinner". Nuevamente....el tiempo dirá. 


Sinceramente,
ArwenLyn

 

Diary Entry September 21, 2006 The Prince, The Artist and the Writer

Diary:




Today I will recieve all of my things from Gregory, and to put an end to this situation. I dont want to write about it anymore. I know I said that I was scared of giving my heart again, but the truth is that I do want to finally be with the man that will become my husband. I dont want to date or be in so many relationships..one after the other a nonstop marathon of "I love you...But i Love him now". Truth is, lately there have been two guys that in their own way have captured my interest....I just feel a little guarded is all.


They are...Edward the Prince and Marcus the Artist. Prince Edward forgot to call me to arrange our "date"....its safe to say that Prince Edward lives 20 minutes from my house. On the other hand, Marcus, the charming Artist lives in the  United Kingdom and he calls me almost everyday.  Honestly, I am getting fed up with Edward's ambiguious feelings. 

Marcus is truly something else. He is everything Edward is not. He calls me, which brings us closer as friends first. We write emails to each other. Yesterday he said that he enjoys our convsersations because we have been very honest with each other. If you are asking yourself..."How did they meet?"... Well, for now i will keep this a secret. 


If you ask me...yes I do like who he is. I admire him and he considers me a very intelligent girl. We are both praying that I get that Washington DC congressional Scholarship. He has mentioned that he would like to return to Puerto Rico with me so he can spend the summer here. That would be so much fun....I am never bored whenever I talk with him. Speaking of talking....my dad and Marcus talked over the phone the other day. Hmm..getting cool with the in laws? I think it's safe to say that Marcus the Artist from United Kingdom has the lead ...and the writer is ever more curious as to see what will happen. 

Sincerely,
ArwenLyn